


human (you and I)

by angelcult



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Metaphors, Tarot, discussions of humanity, tarot metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 19:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcult/pseuds/angelcult
Summary: Alois and Ciel ponder about their own humanity.





	human (you and I)

Ciel was a soft sort of beauty, but only when it was just the two of them. Alois saw sides of Ciel that no one else really did, he saw his eyes when they went from sharp and angry, to dull and sad, from a boy who seemed untouchable to someone who was  _ not  _ weak, but tired.

“It isn’t appropriate for you to be here with me, Trancy.” Ciel’s eyes weren’t even on the blond as he spoke, instead, he was staring ahead, at the full length mirror in his decadent bedroom, though it was unclear if he was actually seeing himself, or if he was looking for little things no one but himself could ever notice.

“Don’t call me that, not when it’s just the two of us.” Alois smiled, getting up from where he sat on the edge of the bed and walked up behind Ciel, watching his eye go from staring blankly at the mirror to look at Alois’ reflection. He’d always been taller than Ciel, the blue of his eyes was much lighter, and he had a little scar beneath his right eye, but Ciel did not know where it came from.

“Alois,” Ciel began, turning to face the other, away from that mirror that he decided he couldn’t stand the sight of, and looked up. The blond was a lot of things that Ciel did not always understand, and sometimes, he could barely see the similarities between them that Alois could see.

Alois always claimed they were much similar than Ciel gave them credit for, but where was the evidence? 

_ “There’s adequate proof to that claim, right?”  _ He could remember asking the question strongly, and how Alois had carefully sidestepped a swipe from the sword in his hands before answering.  _ “You can’t touch everything with your hands, Ciel. Use that brain of yours, it’s beautiful too.” _

And then he’d knocked the sword from his hands.

Ciel could remember the conversation like it was yesterday, how Alois had smiled all wide and smug when he’d seen Ciel’s, as well as the demons, shocked expressions from the lack of bloodshed. He’d tossed his sword aside then and pulled Ciel to his feet. 

It was the start of a strange but filling relationship.

The true heir realized that Alois wasn’t as ditzy as he’d been led to believe.

In the present, he was back to pretending to not be as smart, bouncing lightly on his heels and looking between the smaller body and the mirror, but that familiar glimmer of intelligence was shining in his bright blue eyes.

What did Alois see when he looked at Ciel? The slate-haired boy has always wondered, and he pondered on the thought of it often, because with Alois’ many notable flows, he didn’t talk much. He knew when to keep his mouth closed and sometimes his silence was eerie and wrong to Ciel. 

“Sit down, little lord, you look tired.” Alois gently grasped Ciel’s hand and led him from in front of the mirror and to a plush chair in the corner of Ciel’s room that provided a view of the backyard and some of the garden. The sun was beaming hotly, enough that Alois had to squint when he looked out of the window.

Ciel sat down on his own, but Alois followed him, leaning over Ciel and briefly pressing his nose to his cheek in a way that was almost a kiss if he turned his head a little to the side, but instead he leaned away and Ciel resisted the want to follow.

Alois, for all his brattish ways, could be caring. It was strange, how different he was with Ciel compared to most. Even when he was kind to Elizabeth, it did not deter the fact that he seemed much more kinder and attentive in the Phantomhive Earl’s presence.

He enjoyed it when he was with Alois, despite how their relationship began. 

Sinking to his knees, Alois rested his head in Ciel’s lap, and grabbed one of Ciel’s hands, rested it atop his head and peeked up at him through his eyelashes.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous.” Ciel muttered even as he began to run his hands through Alois’ hair, and soothe his fingers across his scalp, being as gentle as he could be with him. 

Alois deserved gentle, because Ciel saw how he flinched away from Sebastian and Claude, how he twined his fingers with Elizabeth, seeking out comfort, but very rarely receiving it in return.

“What’re you thinking about?” Alois’ voice was muffled, and he didn’t sound as proper as he did when around guests and an assortment of other aristocrats, he just sounded tired, but his burning curiosity was never easily sated.

“About how similar we are.” Ciel replied, fingers running from the roots to the tips of Alois’ hair. He felt more than heard Alois hum, to let him know that he was listening, that he was intrigued. 

“You and I are one half of the same coin.” His voice was a little softer, and he was gazing out of the window, the afternoon sun steamed in. 

Sebastian would be looking for them soon.

“Really? I always thought we were the same card.. The Strength card, that’s you and I. You are both Upright and Reverse, I am simply Reverse. You’re so strong, Ciel but sometimes, you are cruel.”

A deep blue eye widened a little. He’d never heard Alois talk about the two of them in such a manner, but it was strangely refreshing. 

A new outlook of their relationship with one another.

“I wasn’t aware you were familiar with the Major Arcana.” Ciel commented, and Alois lifted his head up to smile at Ciel, and he nodded slowly. “You are also Judgement and The Devil.”

Ciel gasped but it was quiet, though he knew that Alois heard, with how close the two of them currently were.

“You.. You are full of self doubt. You are your own critic, even if you won’t say it. You doubt everything about yourself constantly and I can see it. I can see the way you look at yourself, the way you dress, but I think you’re wondering, if it’s really  _ you.  _ Is it?.. You are detached, you force yourself to view humanity as a separate entity but you’re human too, Ciel. Flesh and blood, just like the rest of us.” Alois laid his head on Ciel’s chest and listened to the quick but steady beat of his heart. 

“You’ve got a beating heart in your chest. For the time being, you even have a soul. Does that not make you human?” Alois reached up, ignoring Ciel’s shocked silence in favor of running a hand over his eyepatch. 

Alois always looked so sad when he touched it, but Ciel never understood  _ why _ . Alois would also be dying at the hands of a demon, so why did he look at Ciel like he wanted more for him?

“You’re a good person, a worthy human.”

“I have blood on my hands.” The aristocrat choked out, forcing himself to meet Alois’ eyes, and his gaze was so piercing, it almost felt like looking at a different person.

“We all do, one way or another. There’s blood on my hands. On the hands of your servants, and your guests, and even Her Majesty… We are human, and humans are killers.”

Alois knew that his logic was flawed, but so was everyone else’s, there would always be holes in the idea of good, and evil, as no such thing as  _ true _ good and evil existed at all.

Not even the demons they’d sold their souls to were truly evil. 

Everyone and everything needed to eat, and the deals were mutual. 

Ciel closed his eye and gently pulled Alois’ head back into his lap, stroking and soothing his scalp.

“Let’s relax.. before our lives start back up their endless chaos again.”

Ciel felt his mind buzzing with Alois’ words but he kept coming back to one sentence.

_ “You’re a good person, a worthy human.” _


End file.
